Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Butterfly Effect

I've been thinking a lot lately about how the tiniest little thing you do can effect someone for a lifetime.  I'm not sure if I've ever done something seemingly insignificant that has effected someone else profoundly, but I do know there have been a couple of instances that have occurred to me, that have changed my life.  Two examples:

My freshman year, fall semester, I was very quiet and kept to myself.  It wasn't until one day a boy with a guitar sang a song about me as I walked past his room, that I started opening up to my hall mates.  Most of us were extremely close, we went to parties together, hung out together, etc.  There were a few that I was still friendly with but not super close with.  After some extremely emotional occurrences in my life, I hit a real low where I was not really acting myself.  Getting drunk before class, if I was going to class at all, became part of my every day behavior.  I was thinking dark thoughts.  Then, one day, a guy in my hall that I had never been particularly close with, handed me a letter.  It was four pages, hand written, front and back, about how he had noticed that I was going through something and wanted to tell me how absolutely beautiful I was and how great of a person I was.  He talked about how strong he could tell I was and how he had faith that I would get through it in one piece.  That letter changed me.  The fact that someone I spent perhaps five minutes with each week, could tell me how I was as a person and give me hope that things were going to get better, amazed me. 

A similar situation happened to me a few weeks ago.  There was someone who I had, well, the easiest way to put it is, I cut them out of my life.  Because of some rumors they had spread about me years ago, I stopped talking to her, and any time she attempted to start a conversation with me afterwards, I was rude and abrupt with my dislike for her.  Then a web-page came up that shares a common factor between the two of us.  People began posting bits of information, pictures of the past, etc.  After posing a question, a friend of mine posted a comment about me being ridiculous whenever I took on something, that nobody had taken on back then.  The girl that I haven't talked to in years maybe, said something of the sort that I was the most driven back then.  It actually left me speechless.  I read it, and just stopped whatever I was doing at that point and stared at the screen for probably an hour.  I was driven.  It really made me wonder, am I still driven? Back then, yes, I took on whatever was asked of me, and even more.  I juggled tons of stuff and barely slept because I was always moving, always working harder.  Yes, my school work kinda took a back seat but I really did see myself as driven.  Just those words, from someone I no longer speak to, changed me.  Since then I have really started to look at my life and attempt to make myself driven again.  I've started really taking active steps to work on my novel, setting guidelines and spending almost every waking second and even some of my sleeping seconds, thinking about it.  I've tried to reorganize my life and maintain a sense of control to make things easier.  Any project that I've been working on, I've seemingly thrown myself into, trying to bring back that ambitious nature.  All because of the words someone I never speak to anymore.

It amazes me how small of an event can change someone.  So reach out and try and help someone in need.  Or if someone inspires you, tell them.  You never know how much it may make that person's day, or change their life.  I don't want to get super cliche right now so that's where I'll end this blog.

No comments:

Post a Comment