Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I think I can, I think I can, but you can't.

My relationship strategy, was actually acquired from my youth pastor in 8th grade, and twisted to suit my own life.  He always critiqued me because I went to camps and flirted with boys, and said my focus was not on God, and I was too obsessed with lust.  One day he told me, that someday I would get married, and I needed to consider what types of things I wanted my husband to have done.  He asked if I would want my husband to be a virgin and me to be the only girl he ever was with. Of course now my opinions have changed significantly, but the one thing that has stuck with me was the equality that he talked of.  What would I like my significant other to do? And if I don't want him to do something, is it fair for me to do it?  Ever since that conversation I have always considered this equality in relationships.  I try not to do anything that I would have a problem with someone else doing.  I don't always succeed but I find that having double standards only leads to trouble.

I find that I have a lack of respect towards people with double standards.  I find this most often happens at work, where someone will expect the restaurant to be perfect when they come in, yet leave it a trainwreck when they leave.  (I admit at times I am guilty of this as well after a certain shift, but I rarely expect the work place to be perfect when I come, more often than not, I anticipate it's not going to be perfect).  Also, I find in my relationship there is a double standard, where others think it normal for my boyfriend to stay out at all hours of the night drinking and participating in his own shenanigans, but if I do anything of the sort, I am accused of drinking, being irresponsible, or being a bad girlfriend.  I really, really dislike double standards.

You should treat people how you want to be treated.  You should work just as hard as you want other people to work for you.  You should be there for friends just as much as you hope they are there for you.  If you become the person that you wish everyone else was, then you will gain respect for it.  Not everyone is perfect, but you can't expect everyone else to be perfect if you do not strive for perfection yourself.  Having double standards makes you hypocritical.  Be the person you want to be, and let everyone else worry about themselves.  Anyone is capable of ANYTHING, no matter if they are woman, minority, child, man, majority, elderly....no matter what age, sex, nationality, ethnicity, income, background, etc.  If you have double standards and expect they are not capable or should not be able to do something, you are contributing to the problem.  The world needs more love, more acceptance, and more equality.

Dream big.  And let others do the same.

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